HJ on Dice (a pseudo running diary)

I had class so I DVR'd the game and am watching it now. A couple of notes as they happen.

-NESN broadcast opens with a montage of Dice-k with Grateful Dead's "Truckin". Has this ever happened without Bill Walton making an appearance? I don't know and don't care. Expectations couldn't be higher. Go Sox!

-Orsillo tells us its a cold day, which doesn't bode well for Dice-k but at least he'll be the warmest person on the field.

-Another Dice-k montage, this will be my drinking game for the day. I put the over/under at 5, with the over. This one is coupled with a Linkin' Park song, which sounds about right.

-Tina Cervasio is speaking of the cold weather and its affect on the Dice-man, but all I can think about is what did Freed do to lower his stock so far that he can only do Bruins stuff. She goes on to say possible flurries, I love April baseball, which may have affect on his breaking pitches let's hope not.

-Greinke takes the mound. That's a great story (social anxiety disorder) but frankly they could tell me a guy in a wheel chair is pitching for the Royals and I still won't care. It's all about the Dice.

-I know it's early but I thinkwe should move Lugo to the 2-hole. Youk has a better OBP and killed pitchers as a leadoff man . Moreover, Lugo should be a better bunter and would be a good person to move over a key runner. As I say this Lugo flies out and Youkilis walks, when I'm right, I'm right. This game is awesome.

-All eyes on Dice to the point were missing Manny's AB. They just got back in time to see the RBI god, ManRam smack a double to right scoring Youk, NESN self-control is key. We have Dice all season don't blow your load American Pie style.

-Greinke looks great striking out both Ortiz and Drew looking, great control. Looks like late life on his fastball, half-inning over Dice time.

-First pitch: "carved" foul on a fastball. Love it! Third pitch lined to left center for a single, this could be interesting.

- Quick note about the Royals how do their fans not feel like Cleveland's fans in Major League. I'm a sports nut, but who the hell are these guys? The fans must be in shock every spring when the spring training reports squeeze their way into the paper forcing out some puff piece about Tony Gonzalez.

- We just heard the myths of Dice's 100 mph rating being the first in Japanese pitching and the gyroball. Mindless comments galore for his opening start, let the count begin.

- Two men on: fielder's choice and a walk. So it wont be a perfecto or a no-no. Who cares, still excited, get em' Dice. Can we come up with a better nickname then Dice. DOUBLE PLAY: Dice-Lugo-Youk. Love this game! Love this game! Back to the nickname, this guy has to have some sort of quirk that we can embrace as a nickname. I'm not creative enough but please help me out leave suggestions in the comment section.

-Coors light has played this "strongest man in the world" ad three times before the top of the second, this might deserves a count as well. 3.

-Single, Mike Lowell, he has been hitting the crap out of the ball, though everyone focuses on his first ever 3 error game, who cares, they happen.

-Tek tried to bunt, does he not know we don't do that, we're the Red Sox. Then flies out, we need to help him this is looking to be a 12 month slump.

-NESN is really dry humping the Dice effect breaking down everything he does, we just saw the double play twice in case we didn't know what it looked like from behind the plate. AND, he's the 12th Japanese pitcher to start a ML game, 3rd for the Sox. Important stuff, truly impecable broadcasting, even though the Sox are up.

-Pedroia grounds out to end the inning, Dice-k time...

-John Goodman is getting fatter by the second but every station loves that life straining voice.

-Did you know: Nomo's no-hit Sox debut was Don Orsillo's debut as an announcer. Interesting, I thought it was still Sean McDonough, seriously, can you tell their voices apart? I defy you to answer that.

-This is of no real importance but seeing Drew wearing Nixon's seven doesn't still well with me, it looks wrong.

-Strikes out Gload to end the inning, looking good so far, this is awesome!!!!

- If you go to Foxwoods do you have to express everything in song? I hope so that would add so much trill to a universally dpressing establishment.

-Infield hit for Lugo on a well placed ball Gordon couldn't handle. Now let's see what we can do with a leadoff guy on and no out. Fly ball to left for Youk, great start. Ortiz get rung up looking again, and he doesn't like it. Second time looking today. The tension is elevating. Golden Cup up, slaps a ball that Gordon knocks down and can't make a play, two on two out. Bad luck for the hyped rookie.

-Swining bunt for Drew, easy play to first. Two men left. DICE TIME...

-But first we need a montage of the first two inning with running Remy commentary. So we are at 2.5 on the montage count.

-K #2 for the Dice, Caught Buck looking.

-Miscommunication on a ground ball down to first but its all good we got the out. Smooth sailing thus far. I just spun in circles saying the alphabet backwards to ensure a non-jinx.

-More inane Dice banter about the inevitable adjustment he faces, we get the point Japanese baseball is different from the Majors, leve it at that.

-He looks good, second 1-2-3 inning as Hazel Mae let's us know whats on tap on SportsDesk. Line through 3 3.0 IP 1H 0R 1BB 2K 15,340,123 pictures taken.

-Another Goodman commercial, that count is at 2 and Coors at 3.

-Wall-ball double because of a bad jump by Gload for Lowell, professional player, he tied for the league lead with former driller Trot Nixon.

-It would be interesting to compare Mirabelli's average and Varitek's, that's a scary thing to wonder, but if you were wondering he flied out to second and wasn't able to move Lowell over.

-Crisp moves Lowell over with two down, Pedroia up. Dustin strikes out for a very anti-climactic ending two the top of the fourth, I hope this isn't a running theme for the season.

-K #3 for Dice. RemDawg claims that he is painting the strike zone. Pure Beauty.

-K #4 on the breaking ball. Nine in a row retired, umm Caged Wisdom tells me not to get over excited, but I may not be able to help it.

-Strikes out the side for the first time as a Red Sox. 4IP 1H 0R 1BB 5K 1,400 boners induced by excitement of pitching excellence.

-Lugo flails a lead off double down the line in right, still think Youk should be our lead off man, but he has been on twice, we got to do something this time.

-Lugo steals third causing an errant throw (Remy said errant as soon as I finished typing that) and Lugo scored, see what happens when people run Tito, we have some speed let's do it more. Youk grounds out.

-Ortiz looks silly against Greinke who looks like an ace. Pinpoint control and great stuff, big future ahead for this kid. Strikes out for the third time on a check swing, there may be a golden sombrero for Papi today. It's times like these I wish Carlos Baerga was still on the roster. Did he retire?

-Golden Cup flies out to end the threat but not after a produced run, Sox 2 Royals 0 after four and a half. DICE TIME!!!

-Broken back single by Gordon for his first ML hit, I hope it's his last. Damn him! Where does he get off. Back to reality, Dice still looks great.

-Is there a harder working catcher in baseball than Tek? I think not. Every pitch it seems like he goes throug every possible option and outcome for each pitch. If one goes awry he seamlessly makes the play as if it were routine. He hit .220 all season he would still be in the running for team MVP.

-Sixth stike out for Dice, then gets a quick fly out on the first pitch to Drew. Quickly gets ahead of Buck.

- Buck singles and Gordon is stopped even though Crisp bobbles and has a limp noodle as an arm.

-After falling behind 2-0 Matsuzaka and fights back to 2-2. Him and Tek get confused and meet between the plate and the mound, which must be real awkward. In the meantime the DJ plays jeopardy music in the background which is completely appropriate. Dice immediately induces an nubber and gets out of a 1st and 3rd jam.

- Coming back from the break, Kauffman stadium is blaring the Price is Right theme, do they only have game show music? Will we here the Temptation Island theme soon? As I write this Drew smacks a double. I've been impressed with him and if he keeps it up I'll have to eat my words.

- Coco has taken risky pitches but eventually strikes out. How's Ellsbury coming along? Sox strand another runner but are still up 2-0. DICE TIME!!!

-First blemish on a spectacular day by Dice. Some named "of Jesus" hits one into the bullpen for a solo shot. Breathe baby get out of it.

-Back to back hits, bloop single for German. Might be time to warm up the pen.

-STRIKE 'EM OUT THROW 'EM OUT!!! Wow, German looks safe but Wow when was the last time that happened, Dice is awesome. Remy says good call, but Dice quickly gives up a long double. Third time through the order and they are figuring him out. We'll see how this plays out over the course of the season. Romero up in the pen. The pitches are numbered now.

- Strike three. Eigth K and he still looks great. HE'S AWESOME BABY!

-Pedroia may be the second coming of Eckstein, a slapper at the plate but still drive the ball for singles and doubles, so far 4 for 9 on the season, and he's 5'8" gotta love that.

-Lugo grounds into a double play. You know who wouldn't have doen that, Youk. He flies out instead. Awesome, I don't like how we aren't hitting. DICE TIME!!!

-Dice out for one more, though two are warming.

- Nine strike outs most by a rookie since Kevin Morton (who?). God I Love This Game!!!! And multiple exclamation points.

- Donny is getting on Jerry for getting traded to the Red Sox because they overpaid for him , and outed his favorite player. Jerry is laughing but secretly wants to beat Don with Wally, if he made the trip.

- Another K for Dice, we're at 10, this is great, absolutely wonderful. He makes quick work of the bottom of the seventh, likely his last inning though there has yet to be word or insight. the final line for him is: 7 IP 6H 1R 1BB 10K 108 pitches. Absolutely phenomenal effort, he's officially done and my man crush is elevating exponentially.

-Golden Sombrero watch: with a opposite field double Ortiz fights off the mexican depression and puts himself in scoring position. Scary stat update: Sox have had the lead runner on in 7 of 8 innings and scored him once, yikes!

-Golden Cup moves Teez over on a lazy (Scranton) fly to right and will intentionally walk Drew, if you had Drew in that pool you are making nothing because no one has an intentional walk pool idiot.

-ORTIZ TAKES HOME ON A PASSED BALL!!!! WHAT!?! This is Royals baseball. Sox up 3-0.

-Gordon pulls a Buckner and now face a 1st and 3rd situation with one out. Rookie mistake. Let's drive 'em in Tek. Scary stat alert: 0 for 11 with runners in scoring position after an inevitable Varitek strike out.

-A little TCB as Coco gets his first hit on the season, Drew scores, 4-0 Sox. Keep Ellsbury warm. Pedey smacks a single and the bases are now chucked for Lugo. Who hits an excuse me ground ball to second, inning over.

-Dice montage at 3 with Remy doing another quick analysis, coming to the understanding that he has 9 pitches, they are a smart bunch. Wait Remy says six, this should make for at least an inning of banter.

-Romero makes fairly quick work of the Royals allowing only one ball out of the infield for a two-out single . Onto the ninth.

-My DVR quits recording after Youk's ninth inning at-bat so that's it for this piece.

All looks well in Sox country with a spectacular effort but Dice. NESN is showing a classic moment where Daubach homers twice and drives in the winning run at Fenway in 2000. I was there and reliving that was great. My buddy Ryan tells me Paps K's 2 and picks up the save. The perfect cap on a great day. Well as for the running diary, don't plan to see to many from me, it's exhausting. Have fun, Wake tomorrow.