Friday, April 13, 2007

August 29, 2000

Some remember the date, others remember the event, no matter it was in the middle of a period the Red Sox may never see again. Let me bring you back, Jerald Williams-Pedro Martinez. That should say enough. If it doesn't, this game is what a classic Pedro game is made of: sheer concentration, a little drama, and pure dominance. Pedro takes a no-hitter into the ninth inning against Tampa Bay, in a game that Brian Daubach was thrown at 3 times, four Tampa pitchers are ejected, two bench clearing brawls, and again a Van Gogh type performance from a shoe-in Hall of Famer.

You may ask why I bring up such an obscure event such as this, well, NESN is replaying it and I find myself glued to the TV like the gum on your shoe. Since his glory days on the Red Sox are over, and his career is winding down, I ask myself and you, will Boston ever see a pitcher of this caliber again?

Pedro finished with a the following line: 9.0 IP 1H 0R 13K. Impressive? By MLB standards, yes. To Pedro, this was simply a good start and it doesn't even crack into the pantheon of classic Pedro starts. He was dominating whether or not he hit 95 on the gun. As the time has progress and Petey has moved on, the Red Sox have ushered in a new era of starting pitchers in Boston. All of whom have very high ceilings and expectations. However, in this group, is there a Pedro. Will there be in the near future? I will tell you there is not and there won't be for the foreseeable future.

Quick note: If you were wondering who broke up the no-hit bid on that faithful night. I had forgotten myself. It was John Flaherty, yea the one that turned himself into a hidden Red Sox killer. Why do ball players of John Flaherty's caliber end up killing the Red Sox, case and point, Bucky Dent.

Now let me delve into the persona of Pedro Martinez. As the American league can attest, Pedro Martinez wreaked havoc on any lineup he faced, yes, including the Yankees (17 K performance). His change up is comparable if not better than Johan Santana's when Petey was in his prime. His fastball had a range between 96-90 Mph but that has nothing do do with the sheer nastiness of his Terminator. It moved like a Tim Wakefield knuckle ball in All-Star Baseball; the league's best hitter's, never mind the Jason Tyners of the world, never had a chance to make contact. To round off his repertoire he encompassed a curve ball that in itself could strike out 10 batters.

We fans know he has awesome stuff, you could see it most every time he stood on the bump, but this isn't what made Pedro the player he was. We've had guys that can pitch: Clemens, Schilling, Tiant, and Cy, but I would argue that none embodied the sheer dominance that Pedro did? Not because of stuff, but rather demeanor made him the most feared pitcher for many years. That 5'10" Latino frame glared in at you as if you blasphemed against Dio or his Madre. Once anyone saw that only one thing from there on in was obvious. It was on. He was going to strike you out. The K-men had ammo ready. You should just concede defeat. This is what would happen every five days for the Sox when he was healthy. He would take the ball, load up that rubber band arm and mix cheese with Pitches that would quite literally seem to stop before they got to the mound as if the ball itself was admiring what Petey had done to it.

Not only did he take names and kick ass but he loved the city and the city loved him. Bostonians believe it or not we love divas. Petey, Lowe, Ortiz, Clemens, Manny (though his game is getting old), Bledsoe, Law, Milloy just to name a few. The city attaches themselves to these people and I tell you with the exception of Papi no one was more loved in Boston than Pedro. Business was business every five days for the Dominican Hurler (unless it was around the All-Star break because apparently million dollar athletes need three weeks off in the summer). Every other day however, you could find Pedro laughing, pulling pranks, duct taping himself to posts, it didn't matter he had fun. And if he wasn't then his midget Nelson (R.I.P) was for the sake of the team. He kept the team and city light and on their toes enjoying every minute of his tenure in Boston. He won us a Championship and he seemed to be as relieved as the elderly fans that waited 86 years to experience the Ecstasy again. He personified the city and we loved him for it.

Now that his career is coming to a close with the Mets, I think it's time that we give him due diligence as fans an understand what he did for us. He also has to realize that we love him, management just didn't think he was worth 53 million dollars (who was right in that argument?). Pedro had a Hall of Fame career just in Boston. He will be honored in Cooperstown some day, wearing a Sox cap and remembered as one of the top-5 most dominating pitchers of the modern era. Stand up and applaud this man whenever you see him, he gave us amazing memories and if you get the chance re-watch almost any game he pitched between 1999-2001 and relive the magic that was Petey.

Side note: this last paragraph is written a month after the rest of the piece I have no idea anymore where I was going with it so I ended it the only way I knew how. If only I could fade to black...

Wait turn the lights back on I remember, will we ever see a pitcher like him again? No! Dice won't do it and Beckett looks like if he will emulate anyone it will be Clemens (Hint: teach him the Splitter). Pitchers like Pedro barely ever come around, his decades Pedro is Johan Santana but it's doubtful we will see him pitch for the Sox so that one's out. No one can match what Pedro brought so consider yourself lucky to have seen it and move on. Thank you. I'm done.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

HJ on a Tradition Unlike Any Other

Okay so it's not really that guilty but to many people an understanding or mutual agreement would be impossible. Every spring, with the blossoming weather, or snow if you live in Vermont(we get the point, let it be nice) comes an event that showcases nature's beauty as well as sheer guts and determination, but not athleticism.

The Masters is a tradition unlike any other, yea I think that's the slogan. And with that, I am completely drawn, excuse me. Okay I'm back. As I was saying there is something about this tournament, this course, the players and their attitudes, the coverage on CBS, that drags me into hours of golf viewing on CBS. The problem is I'm not sure what it is.

Back in my prime, I would watch golf all the time. My prime in golfing terms refers to when I spent many an afternoon at Fresh Pond golf course hacking away at a little white insult until it went into the hole. Those were good times and if you know me well enough, with help from extreme knowledge of that course and a couple of lucky rounds I was able to post an 18 handicap. That was a long time ago and I digress. Its was not out of the picture for me to enjoy hours of golf per weekend; I was around the golfing culture that's what they do. With my second home at Andy's house, I remember hearing Harry get excited or tell us to turn the TV off so he didn't know what was going on.

Harry Lipson is a great man, his sense of humor is a lot of the time out of leftfield but he is a fantastic character. If they ever needed an older more realistic person to play Jim Belushi's character in according to Jim, Harry would be a shoe in. He works in a converted apartment on the third floor of his house and pretty much doesn't leave unless he's playing golf (I'm sure there are other reasons for him to leave I just haven't heard of them yet). There's a treadmill, a gorgeous TV, and of course a putting surface so he can try out one of the thousands of putters he has in the closet. You may think I'm lying but it's true, for the longest time me and Andy would venture up there to putt and try these things out and we never handled the same putter twice. Possibly the best part about this cautious individual is his love for sport. He would record every possible event of interest and watch it when he wanted to, which may not seem like a lot now but he didn't have DVR. This would happen every weekend. Andy and I would be playing or most likely eating and watching ESPN News loop through its half hour segment and Harry would come in demanding that nothing sports related be on or told as to not ruin his marathon of television. To this day, it still cracks me up that he had so much determination to do that. Although that was a long story here is what to take from it. Harry really good at golf, liked to watch golf, recorded golf, and made sure we didn't talk golf around him.

He among other aspects is why I am strangely drawn to the masters. The competition is fierce; it's as if Jordan is pulling up for the game winner on every shot. People will disagree with me and I don't blame them for that, but in golf every shot is high stakes because on bad drive or approach can lead with a concession of victory. The Masters only heightens this as it is that invite only party that you have been waiting you whole life to get into. Once your there though, you are among past and current legends who are breaking it down on the dance floor. If you're lucky enough to make a name for yourself, you made be invited back. Every one's goal however is to be challenged to a dance-off and if victory is in the cards for you on this day, Masters Sunday, you get a lifetime invite and a sweet jacket. The play is fantastic, even when the rounds are over par.

Another obvious attraction to the Masters, or any tournaments if you can stand them, is the Tiger factor. Whether you like him or hate him he does draw you to the sport. Whether your fancy is to tune in to catch a feline meltdown or see one of his historical runs to claim victory and stand alone in the safari, you watch (this statement only goes to those who do watch golf). Tiger is a beast, he rules with an iron fist and will most likely go down as the best golfer that ever lived. And possibly the best "athlete" of an individuals sport we have ever seen.

This brings me to another reason that I'm drawn, anyone can play. Age, size, drinking problem, it doesn't matter on the golf course, seriously ask John Daly, whose nickname I just found out is the Lion. Out of all the drunken nights the best he could come up with is the Lion. I love watching this. Every year as the round winds down and players are exhausted from walking all day and the sweat pour down, its hilarious. Possibly the most nonathletic sport and these players can't even muster a sweat free round in April. The best modern day example is Phil Mickelson, of whom detest and disgust don't begin to tell the story, is always easy to picture because by the 15th hole you can see the sweat collect around his C-cups. Any sport that encourages athlete to have a beer and let themselves go is very much on the okay side with this guy right here.

I believe this to be my last point and fondest experience of the Masters tournament. The time the tournament is put on, early April. For us from the Northeast or any region or country that spends the better part of six months is very cold weather covered in snow then you can relate to this next sentiment. The Masters is a view into everything we love about summer time. We have all ready seen glimpses of the beauty spring brings but as we fall into the second wind of winter, or the better word would be aftershock, the Masters keeps hope alive for a green and gorgeous long stretch that we are close to living. Moreover, early April bring us together families. With both Easter and Passover in this time, we are likely to be with family and for you sons or fathers out there, you understand watching a ballgame or a golf tournament is a lasting memory. I remember some of these rounds that I saw with my father ranging from masters glory to British open blunders to Ryder Cup redemption. You may not like the sport or think golf is anything of consequence but I will tell you some of the best conversations were spent watching these people strive for perfection.

Although I can't put my finger on the drawing power of the Masters I will agree with the sloganeers that it is a tradition unlike any other. So today, I will sit back and watch as the golfers match wits (I was going to use the phrase "duke it out" but it made me the of Duke so I changed it) to see who has the honor of donning the Green Jacket this year. It will be a thrilling final round and I hope you take the advice and tune in. It'll be an experience unlike anyother.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

HJ on Dice (a pseudo running diary)

I had class so I DVR'd the game and am watching it now. A couple of notes as they happen.

-NESN broadcast opens with a montage of Dice-k with Grateful Dead's "Truckin". Has this ever happened without Bill Walton making an appearance? I don't know and don't care. Expectations couldn't be higher. Go Sox!

-Orsillo tells us its a cold day, which doesn't bode well for Dice-k but at least he'll be the warmest person on the field.

-Another Dice-k montage, this will be my drinking game for the day. I put the over/under at 5, with the over. This one is coupled with a Linkin' Park song, which sounds about right.

-Tina Cervasio is speaking of the cold weather and its affect on the Dice-man, but all I can think about is what did Freed do to lower his stock so far that he can only do Bruins stuff. She goes on to say possible flurries, I love April baseball, which may have affect on his breaking pitches let's hope not.

-Greinke takes the mound. That's a great story (social anxiety disorder) but frankly they could tell me a guy in a wheel chair is pitching for the Royals and I still won't care. It's all about the Dice.

-I know it's early but I thinkwe should move Lugo to the 2-hole. Youk has a better OBP and killed pitchers as a leadoff man . Moreover, Lugo should be a better bunter and would be a good person to move over a key runner. As I say this Lugo flies out and Youkilis walks, when I'm right, I'm right. This game is awesome.

-All eyes on Dice to the point were missing Manny's AB. They just got back in time to see the RBI god, ManRam smack a double to right scoring Youk, NESN self-control is key. We have Dice all season don't blow your load American Pie style.

-Greinke looks great striking out both Ortiz and Drew looking, great control. Looks like late life on his fastball, half-inning over Dice time.

-First pitch: "carved" foul on a fastball. Love it! Third pitch lined to left center for a single, this could be interesting.

- Quick note about the Royals how do their fans not feel like Cleveland's fans in Major League. I'm a sports nut, but who the hell are these guys? The fans must be in shock every spring when the spring training reports squeeze their way into the paper forcing out some puff piece about Tony Gonzalez.

- We just heard the myths of Dice's 100 mph rating being the first in Japanese pitching and the gyroball. Mindless comments galore for his opening start, let the count begin.

- Two men on: fielder's choice and a walk. So it wont be a perfecto or a no-no. Who cares, still excited, get em' Dice. Can we come up with a better nickname then Dice. DOUBLE PLAY: Dice-Lugo-Youk. Love this game! Love this game! Back to the nickname, this guy has to have some sort of quirk that we can embrace as a nickname. I'm not creative enough but please help me out leave suggestions in the comment section.

-Coors light has played this "strongest man in the world" ad three times before the top of the second, this might deserves a count as well. 3.

-Single, Mike Lowell, he has been hitting the crap out of the ball, though everyone focuses on his first ever 3 error game, who cares, they happen.

-Tek tried to bunt, does he not know we don't do that, we're the Red Sox. Then flies out, we need to help him this is looking to be a 12 month slump.

-NESN is really dry humping the Dice effect breaking down everything he does, we just saw the double play twice in case we didn't know what it looked like from behind the plate. AND, he's the 12th Japanese pitcher to start a ML game, 3rd for the Sox. Important stuff, truly impecable broadcasting, even though the Sox are up.

-Pedroia grounds out to end the inning, Dice-k time...

-John Goodman is getting fatter by the second but every station loves that life straining voice.

-Did you know: Nomo's no-hit Sox debut was Don Orsillo's debut as an announcer. Interesting, I thought it was still Sean McDonough, seriously, can you tell their voices apart? I defy you to answer that.

-This is of no real importance but seeing Drew wearing Nixon's seven doesn't still well with me, it looks wrong.

-Strikes out Gload to end the inning, looking good so far, this is awesome!!!!

- If you go to Foxwoods do you have to express everything in song? I hope so that would add so much trill to a universally dpressing establishment.

-Infield hit for Lugo on a well placed ball Gordon couldn't handle. Now let's see what we can do with a leadoff guy on and no out. Fly ball to left for Youk, great start. Ortiz get rung up looking again, and he doesn't like it. Second time looking today. The tension is elevating. Golden Cup up, slaps a ball that Gordon knocks down and can't make a play, two on two out. Bad luck for the hyped rookie.

-Swining bunt for Drew, easy play to first. Two men left. DICE TIME...

-But first we need a montage of the first two inning with running Remy commentary. So we are at 2.5 on the montage count.

-K #2 for the Dice, Caught Buck looking.

-Miscommunication on a ground ball down to first but its all good we got the out. Smooth sailing thus far. I just spun in circles saying the alphabet backwards to ensure a non-jinx.

-More inane Dice banter about the inevitable adjustment he faces, we get the point Japanese baseball is different from the Majors, leve it at that.

-He looks good, second 1-2-3 inning as Hazel Mae let's us know whats on tap on SportsDesk. Line through 3 3.0 IP 1H 0R 1BB 2K 15,340,123 pictures taken.

-Another Goodman commercial, that count is at 2 and Coors at 3.

-Wall-ball double because of a bad jump by Gload for Lowell, professional player, he tied for the league lead with former driller Trot Nixon.

-It would be interesting to compare Mirabelli's average and Varitek's, that's a scary thing to wonder, but if you were wondering he flied out to second and wasn't able to move Lowell over.

-Crisp moves Lowell over with two down, Pedroia up. Dustin strikes out for a very anti-climactic ending two the top of the fourth, I hope this isn't a running theme for the season.

-K #3 for Dice. RemDawg claims that he is painting the strike zone. Pure Beauty.

-K #4 on the breaking ball. Nine in a row retired, umm Caged Wisdom tells me not to get over excited, but I may not be able to help it.

-Strikes out the side for the first time as a Red Sox. 4IP 1H 0R 1BB 5K 1,400 boners induced by excitement of pitching excellence.

-Lugo flails a lead off double down the line in right, still think Youk should be our lead off man, but he has been on twice, we got to do something this time.

-Lugo steals third causing an errant throw (Remy said errant as soon as I finished typing that) and Lugo scored, see what happens when people run Tito, we have some speed let's do it more. Youk grounds out.

-Ortiz looks silly against Greinke who looks like an ace. Pinpoint control and great stuff, big future ahead for this kid. Strikes out for the third time on a check swing, there may be a golden sombrero for Papi today. It's times like these I wish Carlos Baerga was still on the roster. Did he retire?

-Golden Cup flies out to end the threat but not after a produced run, Sox 2 Royals 0 after four and a half. DICE TIME!!!

-Broken back single by Gordon for his first ML hit, I hope it's his last. Damn him! Where does he get off. Back to reality, Dice still looks great.

-Is there a harder working catcher in baseball than Tek? I think not. Every pitch it seems like he goes throug every possible option and outcome for each pitch. If one goes awry he seamlessly makes the play as if it were routine. He hit .220 all season he would still be in the running for team MVP.

-Sixth stike out for Dice, then gets a quick fly out on the first pitch to Drew. Quickly gets ahead of Buck.

- Buck singles and Gordon is stopped even though Crisp bobbles and has a limp noodle as an arm.

-After falling behind 2-0 Matsuzaka and fights back to 2-2. Him and Tek get confused and meet between the plate and the mound, which must be real awkward. In the meantime the DJ plays jeopardy music in the background which is completely appropriate. Dice immediately induces an nubber and gets out of a 1st and 3rd jam.

- Coming back from the break, Kauffman stadium is blaring the Price is Right theme, do they only have game show music? Will we here the Temptation Island theme soon? As I write this Drew smacks a double. I've been impressed with him and if he keeps it up I'll have to eat my words.

- Coco has taken risky pitches but eventually strikes out. How's Ellsbury coming along? Sox strand another runner but are still up 2-0. DICE TIME!!!

-First blemish on a spectacular day by Dice. Some named "of Jesus" hits one into the bullpen for a solo shot. Breathe baby get out of it.

-Back to back hits, bloop single for German. Might be time to warm up the pen.

-STRIKE 'EM OUT THROW 'EM OUT!!! Wow, German looks safe but Wow when was the last time that happened, Dice is awesome. Remy says good call, but Dice quickly gives up a long double. Third time through the order and they are figuring him out. We'll see how this plays out over the course of the season. Romero up in the pen. The pitches are numbered now.

- Strike three. Eigth K and he still looks great. HE'S AWESOME BABY!

-Pedroia may be the second coming of Eckstein, a slapper at the plate but still drive the ball for singles and doubles, so far 4 for 9 on the season, and he's 5'8" gotta love that.

-Lugo grounds into a double play. You know who wouldn't have doen that, Youk. He flies out instead. Awesome, I don't like how we aren't hitting. DICE TIME!!!

-Dice out for one more, though two are warming.

- Nine strike outs most by a rookie since Kevin Morton (who?). God I Love This Game!!!! And multiple exclamation points.

- Donny is getting on Jerry for getting traded to the Red Sox because they overpaid for him , and outed his favorite player. Jerry is laughing but secretly wants to beat Don with Wally, if he made the trip.

- Another K for Dice, we're at 10, this is great, absolutely wonderful. He makes quick work of the bottom of the seventh, likely his last inning though there has yet to be word or insight. the final line for him is: 7 IP 6H 1R 1BB 10K 108 pitches. Absolutely phenomenal effort, he's officially done and my man crush is elevating exponentially.

-Golden Sombrero watch: with a opposite field double Ortiz fights off the mexican depression and puts himself in scoring position. Scary stat update: Sox have had the lead runner on in 7 of 8 innings and scored him once, yikes!

-Golden Cup moves Teez over on a lazy (Scranton) fly to right and will intentionally walk Drew, if you had Drew in that pool you are making nothing because no one has an intentional walk pool idiot.

-ORTIZ TAKES HOME ON A PASSED BALL!!!! WHAT!?! This is Royals baseball. Sox up 3-0.

-Gordon pulls a Buckner and now face a 1st and 3rd situation with one out. Rookie mistake. Let's drive 'em in Tek. Scary stat alert: 0 for 11 with runners in scoring position after an inevitable Varitek strike out.

-A little TCB as Coco gets his first hit on the season, Drew scores, 4-0 Sox. Keep Ellsbury warm. Pedey smacks a single and the bases are now chucked for Lugo. Who hits an excuse me ground ball to second, inning over.

-Dice montage at 3 with Remy doing another quick analysis, coming to the understanding that he has 9 pitches, they are a smart bunch. Wait Remy says six, this should make for at least an inning of banter.

-Romero makes fairly quick work of the Royals allowing only one ball out of the infield for a two-out single . Onto the ninth.

-My DVR quits recording after Youk's ninth inning at-bat so that's it for this piece.

All looks well in Sox country with a spectacular effort but Dice. NESN is showing a classic moment where Daubach homers twice and drives in the winning run at Fenway in 2000. I was there and reliving that was great. My buddy Ryan tells me Paps K's 2 and picks up the save. The perfect cap on a great day. Well as for the running diary, don't plan to see to many from me, it's exhausting. Have fun, Wake tomorrow.

Monday, April 2, 2007

HJ on ManRam, Wake, Drew, and The Likes (An Unofficial Official Sox Preview)

Bucky Dent, Bill Buckner, Aaron Boone, New Boston Massacre. Okay now that I've either killed off my short supply of readers (2 as of the beginning of this post) or sent names right over their heads. Here is my Red Sox Preview. By the way, to you die hard Sox fans, remember the first three names shouldn't hurt anymore (I know they still do, just start drinking) because we're World Champs. Oops, apostrophe error. My bad. Okay so the wonder of the Championship has faded, well except for the fact we are still touring the trophy around (recently made a stop in Montpelier, VT). At what point does a team need to get over of itself? I hope it gets stolen, that would teach Lucchino a lesson. Anyways with the season but figurative seconds away here is what I think of the upcoming season.

Before I delve into the preview, I would like to first speak of the state of the Red Sox; if you are a small child full of hope or simply a naive Sox fan you may want to skip down to the preview. We the people saw a different side of the Red Sox this off season, we became the Yankees 2. It hurts me too so before you come after me with a pitchfork or maybe worse, remember this, I feel your pain. It took me a while to come to grips with this. Honestly, I still haven't. I know what UNC fans felt like when they went 1 for forever down the stretch to lose to Georgetown. When the Dice-k/Lugo/Drew deals went down, I heard a collective "this can't be happening" resonate throughout the Red Sox nation. If you weren't expressing this distaste, you are one of a few things:
1. Not a real Red Sox fan
2. Welcome this change, and therefore suck
3. Were in a coma and are just hearing this for the first time.
The front office spent an outrageous amount of money on players that frankly are unproven or go against the mindset, or presumed mindset, of the team. My buddy Andy said it best, although I didn't want to hear it, he told me money had no meaning. Being a baseball fan that wants a salary cap because of its potential benefits to the game (not getting into this, its a different rant all together), I didn't want to hear it we gave 106 million dollars to two players with a lot of questions. I say two because the Matsuzaka deal made complete sense to me because of the excuse Theo told me.

Quick sidebar: The outrageous Dice-k bid was said to instill the Red Sox as a permanent fixture in a Japanese market that has produced Major League stars in Matsui (Hideki not Kaz, dear Lord not Kaz), Nomo, Ichiro, Jojhima, Iguchi, Sasaki. To any team that can afford it, this is a great scenario. It allows the team to build a strong foundation and relationship with a league that many say is up and coming in the talent level. The Japanese, and for that matter Korean leagues, are producing more and more major league talent, if a fifty million dollar bid allows a team first pickins or spreads its name as a desirable location then there is no reason for that organization not to completely overbid and be a local favorite, on the other side of the world. To add to this, remember fans, it isn't our money.

This last phrase, it isn't our money leads me right back to what I was saying before, and is the mindset the Red Sox fans must take at this point. It is the same train of thought the Yankees' fans have take; it's Steinbrenner's money, so who cares what he does with it. Our owner's are spending all kinds of their money to buy a winner. We're an Abreu for nothing deal away from being a mirror image of our hated rivals. They have decided to compete with hired guns. Although this will take me some time to come to grips with I will just throw on my Red Sox gear and cheer widely, pretending I did not have this revelation over the winter. Look on the bright side at least we still are a Nation of united fans instead of a slimy, ugly, dim witted, spiky haired, incompetent (other adjectives were subjected to censorship, not this time FCC) group that comprises the empire. And now on to our Feature Presentation.

(Thank you for coming to Loew's, sit back and relax, annnd enjoy the show!)

The way this will work is I will breakdown each position (by projected spot in the batting order), tell you how I feel about each player. Then I will analyze our bench players. Say a quick word about our coach, then to wrap it up, I will give you my "Things to watch for" Red Sox style. The analysis will not be based on Spring Training numbers, but more or less how they look in the gearing up process.

Projected Lineup:
SS Julio Lugo
1B Kevin Youkilis
DH David "Big Papi" Ortiz
LF Manny "the Wonderman, Spacechild, ManRam, Golden Cup" Ramirez
RF J.D. Drew
3B Mike Lowell
C Jason Varitek
CF Covelli "Coco" Crisp
2B Dustin Pedroia

Projected Rotation:
S Curt Schilling
S Josh Beckett
S Daisuke Matsuzaka
S Tim "The Confusion Maker" Wakefield (If anyone followed old Celtics commercials, you'll get the nickname)
S Julian Tavarez
CL Jonathan Papelbon

Leading Off: Shortstop, Julio Lugo.
The first of the three big acquisitions the Sox made this year to be commented on is Lugo, who should bring more to the team offensively than any of our shortstops since Nomar (yes, even OCab). Theo finally has the opportunity to acquire his long time man crush this off season for way more than he's worth. It's not our money, it's not our money... He has put together a slew of good offensive years; sorry I wanted to keep going on this point but I looked at his number and he is a career .277 hitter with a .340 OBP. This may hurt more than I expected. On the bright side his last year and a half in Tampa he did hover around .300 with 18-67-142 (HR-RBI-Runs) and an OBP of around .366 before he fizzled in his utility role with the Dodgers. Apparently in baseball these days that warrants 36M/4yrs. There are a couple of things about Lugo that keeps me from jumping off my second floor deck in disgust. First, he is good friends with Ortiz, who has vouched for him and assures a cynical Nation that he will succeed in Boston. I have to take this to heart considering Papi has rarely ever let us down since joining the Sox, and until he does I will cling to everything he says. The Second thing is his former managers claim he loves to play at Fenway, and his numbers prove it hitting .313-3-17-22 with a .374 OBP and 11 steals in 172 at bats. There we got a positive we can hold on to, he can rake in the Fens. So it looks like as a lead off hitter he should succeed and if he falters a little a drop to the second spot in the order may do him will allowing for more pitches to hit.
Defensively, however, is a different story. Over the last three years he has averaged 23 errors per season, and just a shade under that as a SS. To say he could be a liability is an severe understatement as he will likely take away wins with his erratic arm. In the bright side, it will kinda be like having Nomar back again. Although, Lugo can cover more ground than the A-Gon, Gonzalez never made errors (7 all season) and played the field beautifully. Don't be surprised if he doesn't live up to the legendary status that was played at short. All in all, it is a decent pickup. He seems to be a good club house guy and a fine athlete. In my opinion that does not translate in the contract he was given when other players that fit the defensive mindset of the are available for a much cheaper price. The jury is still out...

First baseman, Kevin Youkilis
Is there a guy that looks more unlike a professional athlete? I doubt it. You take one look and you think he's some rich guy that paid the team to let him participate in Spring Training, i.e. Garth Brooks with the Padres. With that off my chest, I can safely say I love this kid. Moreover, I love the fans embrace altering the former "LLLLOOOOOUUUUUUU" chant to "YYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUKKK" mostly because I love when people new to Fenway or the Red Sox asks why they are booing him. On the unintentional comedy scale (Bill Simmons) it ranks up there with Curt Schilling's top heavy frame and Blog and ManRam's dreads.
Youkilis has developed into a great player, one that will never be a star but is essential to any team. He hits for average and has a killer OBP. There was no research done here so try to tell me who the last first baseman was that led off for their team. Not only lead off but in that role was at the very top of the league in OBP, something extremely important for lead off hitters. His numbers, offensively, fell off the second half of the season but adjustments will likely be made considering last year was his first full season in the majors. Look for him to be a three hundred hitter and racking up high run totals hitting in the 2 hole.
Defensively, this kid is sound, committing only 8 errors all season (only 5 at 1B). He has turned himself in to a great all around first baseman with his glove and his bat. Lastly, he is a versatile player for our team, with the ability to play LF and 3B (his original position). Although, he isn't the prototypical power hitting first baseman he exemplifies class on the field. That'll do pig, that'll do.

Designated Hitter, David "Big Papi" Ortiz
Number 34 in your programs but number 1 in your hearts is the jovial masher himself. If Tim Allen doesn't sign on to do Santa Claus 4: The curse of the Lumpy Coal then they should simply hire Ortiz, for a couple reasons:
1. Face it, he would make an awesome Chris Kringle
2. The last monstrous athlete to star in a movie was Shaq in either Kazaam or Steel and it has been way too long
3. We need an actor on the team.
Walt Disney get on it. What else can you say about a guy that broke the Red Sox single season record for home runs, is the most clutch hitter in baseball today, and exemplifies loving your job? ...Maybe he'll play more games at first? That may sound foolish or unlikely but Ortiz has been working on his glove. Don't get too excited, he's only doing it so he isn't a huge liability when he steps onto a National League field. As for his numbers because I can't keep building this guy up, don't be surprised to see less HRs but the RBIs will still be there because a team's inability to pitch around him. He will have another MVP type season and won't be recognized for it. Take solice in this, all is good in Papi's world and expect big things.

Left Fielder, Manny "Goldencup" Ramirez
Now we have reached my favorite hitter on this Red Sox team, a top 5 right handed of all time, ManRam. There's a lot to expect out of a guy that disappointed so many at the end of last year. The stunt he pulled after the new Boston Massacre left people asking for his head, possibly the reason for all the trade talk. Wait never mind, I forgot they've been trying to trade him since before they even signed him to his contract. They could make a rollercoaster out of this guy's affection for the city and the city's opinion of him. Call it the waiver wire. Though this year I have confidence he will not jump ship, my basis for that is a gut feeling; the same gut feeling that I have ever single season. I just think this team will compete throughout the season keeping ManRam in the lineup. When he's in that lineup he'll simply rake. Don't forget this guy hit .321-35-102 with a .439 OBP in 130 games. Kid still had a great season and since joining the Boston Red Sox he has averaged .317-39-119-99 with a .418 OBP in 142 games a season. Plan for his numbers to be in that range. Don't you worry about Manny he'll play and he'll produce maybe even a little more than normal now that he has legitimate protection behind him.
Defensively, let's just move on.

Right Fielder, J.D. Drew
All I hear is how good this guy is. I. Don't. Believe it. Even though he has looked good/great in spring training, maybe I believe it a little bit. If you were wondering what is happening with the financial situation in baseball you don't have to look much farther than J.D. Drew. He has never had two consecutive 110+ game season, but apparently that deserves a 14 million dollars a year? But it isn't our money. He has severe motivation issues and is a real question to handle the pressure of Boston, great. But he's one of Theo's guys, high OBP and great defensively. He should be a step up from the oft-injured original dirt dog, Christopher Trotman Nixon (real name look it up). Sorry I would love to say more but I can't afford to get enraged, my apartment is too beat up as it is.

Third Baseman, Mike Lowell
Mike Lowell's impressive comeback from a forgettable 2005 campaign may be the beginning of the end for the one time franchise third baseman of the Florida Marlins. I refuse to believe that. Will he be a .284-20-80 guy? Maybe. Will he be a .236-8-58 hitter? He could be but his career numbers don't back that up. You can expect him to drop off offensively somewhat, with a decreased power total. He is an aging veteran and it comes with the territory. The beauty of his situation, is that Fenway will cater to the twilight of his career. It's a doubles park and he has doubles power. Expect him to drive in a lot of runs and threaten the lead the league in doubles.
His glove speaks for itself. He won't commit errors and will be a strong candidate for a Gold Glove, which will help Lugo who typically struggles defensively.

Catcher, Captain, Jason Varitek
This blog is getting really long. I feel like I'm in the second round of the HR Derby after exploding for 20 in the first round. The venerable captain of the team may not completely comeback from the struggles he experienced at the plate and in my opinion I couldn't care less. As long as he hits better than Dougie Fresh, I'm happy. The team didn't feed the Boras monster in Tek's case because he is a slugger. At the time he had an amazing year but Theo realized the work he does with the pitchers makes him a top 5 catcher and not necessarily his work with the stick. Look for average production numbers from the captain, but he will live up to every single dollar for emulating a team player and keeping athletes in check. As well as getting the most out of our pitchers, except Wake.

Center Fielder, Covelli "Coco" Crisp
Coco will have a 500 pound gorilla follow him most of the year. Last year's inaugural Coco Crisp season left a lot to be desired. Besides the commercial he did with his father, there were few positive notes. He couldn't hit the broad side of the barn after his injury, and frankly the only thing he did do after his injury was that wicked pissah catch he made against the Mets. Dude's got haht. I can't really judge him this preseason because of the injury that hampered him; he has many tools and has the potential to be a great player. (Side Note: I'm watching NESN and the RemDawg just agreed with me) He should hit and play a decent center field; I would say numbers around .295-13-75 with good defense. If he doesn't though watch out for a short leash.

Second Baseman, Dustin Pedroia
Ummm... yea he's gonna do stuff, I think, Maybe... Dustin is a Theo draftee, good on base guy and could straight rake in the Minors. He'll see a tough learning curve similar to his time with the Club in September and in Spring Training. If he can find his stroke then he will definitely be an adequate second baseman, not a star, but a solid second baseman. Sorry I haven't seen enough of him to comment, let's hope and pray.

Bench
All of our bench players are fairly versatile athletes, except for Dougie Fresh who well can only catch and I cringe thinking about him trying to play the field. Since Mirabelli was mentioned I will just start with him. He's not going to give you a high average, power, or really anything offensively. He's Wake's guy and that's about it, he'll catch all of his starts and a couple other spot starts, and that's all we really ask of him, barring injury and let's just hope the Sox don't get there. Next victim, Eric Hinske. The former rookie of the year should be a great bench player for this squad adding versatility and a decent stick. This ability will help Tito in a pinch if there are injuries or they need an impact bat off the bench. Then there's Wily Mo Pena, the modern day Pedro Cerrano. Kid can't hit the outside breaking ball to save his life. Trust me when I say this, outside does not mean right off the plate, though he misses that too, he will swing and miss at a ball headed towards the on-deck circle. If he learns plate discipline, Tito will be able to find him the 400 ABs they feels he should get. He versatile enough to man any outfield position, not well but serviceably. Look for some tape measure shots from him but not much else; I don't think he will pan out. I save the best for last, Alex Cora. The super utility man could have a much bigger impact than a bench player if Pedroia falters. He plays with class and always seemed to do something to help the team win when he played last year. The bench will be strong though if there are injuries questions do arise.

Curt Schilling
Is a self-involved pompous ass. For God's sake I can't listen to you. Don't speak. To make it worse, what do you do? You come out with a blog and fill Red Sox fans with ignant nonesense. Get out of our face and pitch. You can still throw, stick to that, instead of coming home sitting at your computer shoving food into your all ready bloated frame. Seriously, Schilling's becoming a mirror image of John Goodman, actually true fact: if you're really quiet you can hear each of them simultaneously getting fatter by the second. I could spend all day bashing this guy's personality but he can pitch and will show all of us that. Armed with a couple of new pitches he's ready to have a monster season in a contract year. I see him winning 18 games with an era sub 3.50. Any of us will take that as long as we don't have to hear him bitch and moan whenever things don't go his way, we don't need another Kevin Millar

Josh Beckett
I see big things coming from Beckett this year. His first season in the American League came with a vast learning curve that taught him a lot of things about how to pitch. As a hurler in the National League, he could rely on his good ol' number 1, this train of thought didn't work in the American League where he gave up 35+ HRs. This year he is learning how to pitch, not relying on his fastball and finding his devastating curve ball. I still claim that if this kid could develop a split fingered fastball he would be unstoppable, but that's neither here nor there. This season he will find his groove, not without a rough stretch, and will shave about 1.5o points from his ERA and that is sufficient for me because if he does that the wins will follow. At the end of the day the extension he was given last year will be a bargain for the results he will give. Way more valuable than Matt Clement, who by the way is still around. Don't call it a comeback, no seriously don't, he sucks lets just eat money and let him walk. It's funny how now it seems way more efficient to take Clement's money and just light it all on fire. But that was a real tangent, Josh Beckett. Go Josh Beckett

Daisuke Matsuzaka.
The Asian Sensation, the phenom, Monster of the Fenway. It's easy to get really into what this guys has done so far (see Weei soundbite). He has lit up spring training lineups showing dominance and the ability of getting out of sticky situations, kind of like Jenna Jameson. In all seriousness this guy looks great and could be poised for big things in the Majors. I can't get that up on him yet, not because I don't think he can do it, I just can't bear it if his season did not meet my expectations and I am let down. Hey, I'm looking out for number one. With that said he will go 12-7 with a 4.50 ERA as a bare minimum. This kid is awesome baby! A real PTPer! A Diaper Dandy! I do think within the next 18 months he will emerge as the ace of the staff and lead to Sox to the promised land at least once. I think the Sox have been accpeting to his needs and shouldn't be a problem in the clubhouse, and the only thing is he has shown glimpses of being a premadonna. Keeping that in check will be a key for his success. There's no other insight I can give you that hasn't all ready been said.

Tim Wakefield
What is there to say about this guy, my favorite player? He'll eat innings win somewhere between 10-15 wins, and he'll simply battle day in and day out. Love Tim Wakefield, you all should too. Only drawback is that Dougie Fresh has to be in the lineup when he pitches, oh well, he's still awesome.

Julian Tavarez
He better pitch like he did at the end of last season, or bad things will happen. Not really, they'll just call comeback of the year canidate Jon Lester to take over the role. When that happens don't be surprised to quit hearing about Manny's problems or qualms because Tavarez will be too busy with his airing his own grievance. (Side Note: I believe every year the Red Sox should celebrate festivus, it would be a lot easier than hearing all this trade talk and contract bull.) In all fairness to Manny's PR guy he did pitch well as a started going 3-0 on in six starts with one complete game and a 4.01 ERA. He will need to keep these numbers up if he wants to keep his spot from Lester who seems to just be waiting at this point. If he does forfeit the spot that will probably mean the end for Snyder as a Red Sox since he is our long reliever. Seriously can't wait for Lester to comeback so we can have a SweetAwesome rotation

CL Jonathan "JonnyPaps" Papelbon
Okay so he's a closer again by choice. He's doing the same things doctor's advised against, this should show you the intelligence of professional athletes. I thought he should be a starter and was poised fro a dazzling career pushing Matsuzaka out of the ace position. It really looked like he could be the next Roger Clemens-esque pitcher. Oh well, he's our closer, solidifying a huge hole there, and he's wicked pissah. He'll have another great season, but if he gets injured because he's the closer I'll kill him. Last thing about Paps is he rocks the sweet mullet which means dominance will ensue.

Bullpen
As for the rest of the bullpen, they scare me to death and I'd rather not go in depth about a staff of once good pitchers entering the twilight of their career. Besides Timlin and Okajima (and only because MLB haven't seen him before) I dont know who to trust. Hopefully they will all bounce back from springs where they had a harder time finding the stikezone then finding Waldo in the Medievil festival picture. God I hope this works out.

Coach(es)
Tito will be fine, but this will be his hardest assignment yet with players the likes of Manny, Drew, Matsuzaka constantly needing attention and coddling along with a slew of young players to keep in check. He'll be fine but don't think he'll sleep well this summer. The reason I wanted to go into the coaching staff is because I read an article saying Johnny Pesky ("you think he calls his dick the Pesky Pole?" Simmons you are the man) will not be allowed in the dug out because of a rule the Red Sox have been ignoring. By the way, I love the fact that the Red Sox refuse to take some rules seriously. Pesky must be in the dugout and around the clubhouse. He is the Red Sox, yes it isn't Wally, not to have him around is blasphemy and will probably kill him. MLB you are dumb, and ignorant, and dumb , and stupid. Theo just hire him as a bench coach, if he has to manage a game so be it, he probably still can. He knows this team better than anyone and should be forced to be around the team and not forced to be away from them.

That is all for now, because the sheer length of this surprised me as well. The things to watch for will come in the following week as well as notes about the first exciting series against the Royals. Stay tuned. But as for now it's time to throw my throw back Clemens Jersey on and cheer my team into the post season, six months from now. I love this game.